I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to become the best professor I can be. Unfortunately, I feel like I am failing pretty miserably at it. After each class, I am left with the feeling that I could have done things better. Some days are more successful than others, but I have yet to have a day where I feel great about the lessons I taught.
This feeling of inadequacy is pervasive. For example, I don't write because I don't feel like anything I write is good enough to share. Apart from the articles I wrote for my college newspaper, this blog is the only thing I've written and shared with others on a large scale. It probably doesn't seem like it, but I actually put a lot of thought into what I have written thus far.
I realize that feeling this way has its benefits. It motivates me to work harder. It encourages me to challenge the status quo and avoid the docile complacency ever so present in today's society. It also implies that I have enough confidence in my own abilities to believe that I can do better than I already am.
However, this feeling can be very bad for me as well. It has held me back on a number of occasions. I didn't take a creative writing class in college because I was afraid, and am still afraid, that I would be terrible at it. The same could be said of art. Because I didn't measure up to my own standards of quality, I just gave up. This has happened on more occasions than I care to admit.
I realize that good things can come from failure, and I also realize that I have to be willing to be bad at something in order to become good at it. This doesn't seem to help, though. I still find myself paralyzed by my fear of failure. Do any of you ever feel this way? If so, how do you deal with it?
Before I go, I just want to thank everyone who actually reads these posts. It really means a lot to me. You guys are awesome!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
In Which I'm a Nerd
These days, being a nerd is a good thing. Instead of an insult, most people now view the word as a title of honor. Sadly, this was not the case when I was younger. Working hard in school and enjoying learning often resulted in ridicule rather than praise. Nobody wanted to be friends with the "teacher's pet." Fortunately, fictional characters were always there to keep you company.
Things are quite different now. Instead of hiding their nerdiness, people are celebrating it. I think that the Internet has played a huge part in this. People used to hide certain aspects of their lives because they felt alone. They didn't realize that there were lots of people out there who liked the same things they did, or felt the same way they were feeling. Now, a simple Google search can lead you to an entire online community of people who are just as obsessed about something as you are.
Everyone wants to feel connected. The immense popularity of social networking sites is proof of this. We can interact easily with people all over the world on a daily basis. No one around you shares your interest in origami? Well, you can go online and find hundreds of people who do. Our exposure is no longer limited to just what's around us. Our circles of friends can extend much further than the boundaries of our communities.
Instead of separating us, our differences are bringing us together. We are proud of the things that make us nerds. In keeping with this new-found pride, I'm going to tell you some of the things that I do, or have done, that some might consider nerdy.
Things are quite different now. Instead of hiding their nerdiness, people are celebrating it. I think that the Internet has played a huge part in this. People used to hide certain aspects of their lives because they felt alone. They didn't realize that there were lots of people out there who liked the same things they did, or felt the same way they were feeling. Now, a simple Google search can lead you to an entire online community of people who are just as obsessed about something as you are.
Everyone wants to feel connected. The immense popularity of social networking sites is proof of this. We can interact easily with people all over the world on a daily basis. No one around you shares your interest in origami? Well, you can go online and find hundreds of people who do. Our exposure is no longer limited to just what's around us. Our circles of friends can extend much further than the boundaries of our communities.
Instead of separating us, our differences are bringing us together. We are proud of the things that make us nerds. In keeping with this new-found pride, I'm going to tell you some of the things that I do, or have done, that some might consider nerdy.
- I love Harry Potter.
- I have a degree in Computer Science.
- I like Pokemon games. I have played the Soul Silver, Pearl, and White versions.
- I think that the Oxford English Dictionary is really awesome. I love to tell people the story behind its creation.
- I adore Doctor Who! David Tennant is my favorite, but Matt Smith is a close second.
- I would much rather enjoy a quiet night in than go to parties.
- I play Dungeons and Dragons. My Paladin is now level eight!
- I spent many Tuesday nights watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Graduation
Well, I finally accomplished one of the major goals I set for myself. I earned my Master's degree. It's a really odd sort of feeling. I've been working toward this goal for a very long time, and now that the pressure to complete it is gone, I have felt a bit lost. It almost seems like I'm in some sort of dream. I have an idea of what I would like to do with my life as far as my career goes. I want to be a professor. I want to feel like I have made a difference in the world, however small that difference might be.
I'm still trying to figure out what else I might want to do. I think it would be nice to work more on my photography, or I might even learn to play the violin that I've owned for almost eight years now. There are definitely lots of books that I want to read. It is almost overwhelming! I guess the best thing to do is pace myself.
Apart from being the best professor I possibly can, my other goals at this point include:
I'm still trying to figure out what else I might want to do. I think it would be nice to work more on my photography, or I might even learn to play the violin that I've owned for almost eight years now. There are definitely lots of books that I want to read. It is almost overwhelming! I guess the best thing to do is pace myself.
Apart from being the best professor I possibly can, my other goals at this point include:
- Paying off my student loans
- Buying a car
- Saving money to travel
- Going to conventions
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Declaring Independence
On July 4, 1776, thirteen British colonies located in North America declared their independence from England. Had I been alive then, I would have thought they were crazy. England ruled most of the world at that time, and they had an incredibly powerful navy. To do what the colonists did required an inordinate amount of bravery. I know that we consider them brave because they were successful. Had they failed, we probably would have called them stupid.
Every year, we celebrate their success with cookouts and fireworks. This year, I say we also celebrate by declaring our own independence. We all have things in our lives that hold us back. In my case, it's fear. Of all the emotions I feel, this one is definitely the strongest. It's also the most prevalent. Before just about any action I take, I fret over the potential consequences, frequently imagining much worse things than would actually happen.
I apologize for my mistakes a million times, and I still worry about them months after everyone else has forgotten them. There are so many things in life that I miss out on, and continue to miss out on, just because I'm too scared. I am petrified at the thought of hurting others or getting hurt myself. Instead, I just let opportunities pass me by and reminisce on what could have been, wishing I would have had the courage to do or say what I really wanted to.
So this year, I declare my independence from fear. I'm not sure how well this will go, or if I'll even be successful at all, but I'm going to give it my best shot. Is there anything you would like to declare your independence from? I wish you the best of luck with whatever it is. Let me know how things go for you, and I will return the favor. As always, thanks for reading! Happy Independence Day!
Every year, we celebrate their success with cookouts and fireworks. This year, I say we also celebrate by declaring our own independence. We all have things in our lives that hold us back. In my case, it's fear. Of all the emotions I feel, this one is definitely the strongest. It's also the most prevalent. Before just about any action I take, I fret over the potential consequences, frequently imagining much worse things than would actually happen.
I apologize for my mistakes a million times, and I still worry about them months after everyone else has forgotten them. There are so many things in life that I miss out on, and continue to miss out on, just because I'm too scared. I am petrified at the thought of hurting others or getting hurt myself. Instead, I just let opportunities pass me by and reminisce on what could have been, wishing I would have had the courage to do or say what I really wanted to.
So this year, I declare my independence from fear. I'm not sure how well this will go, or if I'll even be successful at all, but I'm going to give it my best shot. Is there anything you would like to declare your independence from? I wish you the best of luck with whatever it is. Let me know how things go for you, and I will return the favor. As always, thanks for reading! Happy Independence Day!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The Online Universe
Like many people, I spend quite a bit of time online. Whether I'm checking e-mail, going to funny websites for a laugh, or keeping up with social networks, an hour can pass by without my noticing it. One thing I've been doing lately is watching YouTube videos. In particular, I have found myself watching Kristina Horner's channel.
We actually have quite a bit in common. We both like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Doctor Who, and singing. She's also traveled extensively, something I can't wait to do. Had we lived closer to each other, I would definitely have wanted her to be my friend. In truth, she actually reminds me quite a bit of my friend Megan.
Many people argue that technology has worked to isolate people, and to some extent, this is true. We spend lots of time on the computer and playing video games rather than physically interacting with others. We've all spent time with people who seem more interested in the person they are texting than us. I've even heard of relationships ending because one person spends too much time playing video games.
However, it also cannot be denied that technology brings us together as well. Because of Facebook, I've been able to keep in touch with people that have meant a lot to me at various points in my life. Some of my friends live far away, but through social media, I am still able to keep up with them. Many video games are also interactive. My entire family became addicted to Words With Friends. We loved challenging each other, and we could still interact with each other even though we weren't in the same place.
One of the coolest things, however, is that we can use technology to easily connect with people all around the world. No matter what your interest is, you can find others online who share your passion. Without technology, we wouldn't even know those people exist. Who knows? Maybe you can even find someone close by and make a new friend.
We actually have quite a bit in common. We both like Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Doctor Who, and singing. She's also traveled extensively, something I can't wait to do. Had we lived closer to each other, I would definitely have wanted her to be my friend. In truth, she actually reminds me quite a bit of my friend Megan.
Many people argue that technology has worked to isolate people, and to some extent, this is true. We spend lots of time on the computer and playing video games rather than physically interacting with others. We've all spent time with people who seem more interested in the person they are texting than us. I've even heard of relationships ending because one person spends too much time playing video games.
However, it also cannot be denied that technology brings us together as well. Because of Facebook, I've been able to keep in touch with people that have meant a lot to me at various points in my life. Some of my friends live far away, but through social media, I am still able to keep up with them. Many video games are also interactive. My entire family became addicted to Words With Friends. We loved challenging each other, and we could still interact with each other even though we weren't in the same place.
One of the coolest things, however, is that we can use technology to easily connect with people all around the world. No matter what your interest is, you can find others online who share your passion. Without technology, we wouldn't even know those people exist. Who knows? Maybe you can even find someone close by and make a new friend.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
The Places I Want To Go
Like most people, I have a long list of places I would like to go. Some are here in the United States, while others are overseas.
Places here in the US:
Places Overseas:
I Specifically Want To See:
Places here in the US:
- The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
- Los Angeles, California
- San Francisco, California
- Las Vegas, Nevada
- Yellowstone National Park
- Alaska
- Hawaii
- Boston, Massachusetts
- New Orleans, Louisiana
- Seattle, Washington
- Chicago, Illinois
Places Overseas:
- The United Kingdom
- Italy
- Spain
- Germany
- Japan
- China
- India
I Specifically Want To See:
- The Mississippi River
- The Rocky Mountains
- The Great Lakes (All of Them)
- Loch Ness
- Stonehenge
- Stratford Upon Avon
- King's Cross Station
- Mount Fuji
Monday, June 18, 2012
The Pursuit of Greatness
"I am very firm about the rules I set forth ... and very adamant about being the exception to every single one. Most people learn by contradiction, so I provide the perfect example. Devil's advocate of my own philosophy."
All of my friends have amazing talents, and I consider all of them to be highly intelligent people. The quotation above is just an example of some of the things my friend Nate says. Nate may be a computer scientist by trade, but he has the soul of a writer. He's a better writer than a lot of people I know who have degrees in English.
Another gifted friend of mine is Megan. She's an artist, and her paintings and drawings are truly something to behold. Not only is she the creator of beauty, she's also a possessor of it. She's been the subject of many a photo shoot. Her personality is equally beautiful.
As much as I hate to admit it, I do occasionally envy their talents. I would love to be able to say thought-provoking things or to actually like something I create. Instead, I often find myself feeling frustrated and dissatisfied. My work is never good enough to suit me, and it's often discarded.
I've been told that most people form connections by seeking out those with qualities they wish to possess themselves. This is definitely true for me. There are lots of things I admire about my friends. They all inspire me to be a better person, whether than means worrying less or being more assertive. They've also inspired me to pursue interests that i may not have otherwise.
I think it's vital to have inspiration in your life. It's important to try new things, work on our shortcomings, and get out of our comfort zones every now and then. It's good to learn and grow. I am very grateful to have friends that help me on the way to becoming the person I want to be. They will never know how much this means to me.
Guess this is all for today. Hope you have a wonderful day, and thanks for reading. Until next time!
All of my friends have amazing talents, and I consider all of them to be highly intelligent people. The quotation above is just an example of some of the things my friend Nate says. Nate may be a computer scientist by trade, but he has the soul of a writer. He's a better writer than a lot of people I know who have degrees in English.
Another gifted friend of mine is Megan. She's an artist, and her paintings and drawings are truly something to behold. Not only is she the creator of beauty, she's also a possessor of it. She's been the subject of many a photo shoot. Her personality is equally beautiful.
As much as I hate to admit it, I do occasionally envy their talents. I would love to be able to say thought-provoking things or to actually like something I create. Instead, I often find myself feeling frustrated and dissatisfied. My work is never good enough to suit me, and it's often discarded.
I've been told that most people form connections by seeking out those with qualities they wish to possess themselves. This is definitely true for me. There are lots of things I admire about my friends. They all inspire me to be a better person, whether than means worrying less or being more assertive. They've also inspired me to pursue interests that i may not have otherwise.
I think it's vital to have inspiration in your life. It's important to try new things, work on our shortcomings, and get out of our comfort zones every now and then. It's good to learn and grow. I am very grateful to have friends that help me on the way to becoming the person I want to be. They will never know how much this means to me.
Guess this is all for today. Hope you have a wonderful day, and thanks for reading. Until next time!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
And So It Starts
Hello! My name is Amanda, and I'm pretty much your average (soon to be) 27-year-old. My goal with this blog is just to record some of my thoughts on various topics. I hold no grand illusions. I do not imagine I will have a huge following, and I do not believe that any of the observations recorded here will be life-changing, save possibly for me. I do, however, believe strongly in the power of words. Words have the power to incite revolutions and transform lives. While I am doubtful my words will do any of those things, it is my hope that they at least inspire a smile or even a chuckle. You might possibly even find them helpful, which would be awesome.
I'm not sure how often I will blog. I only intend to write when I have something I feel I need to say. I don't want to blog purely for the sake of blogging. Other than that, I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens. Take care everyone, and thanks for reading!
I'm not sure how often I will blog. I only intend to write when I have something I feel I need to say. I don't want to blog purely for the sake of blogging. Other than that, I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens. Take care everyone, and thanks for reading!
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